Unlike Link & Ganon or Mario & Bowser, Ridley and Samus have one very clear storyline.
And they hate each other.
A playful and friendly child, Samus Aran lived with her parents on a colony until it was attacked by Space Pirates led by Ridley. The Chozo, a race of bird-like aliens, arrived too late to stop the colony’s massacre, and took in Samus, the only survivor.
Takeaway: Ridley killed Samus’ parents and destroyed her home.
Samus’ upbringing was placed in the hands (talons?) of two of the Chozo, Old Bird and Gray Voice. To make sure that Samus could survive on the Chozo homeworld of Zebes, Gray Voice spliced some of his genes into Samus’ DNA, making her part-Chozo.
When Samus was only a teenager, the Chozo were betrayed by their supercomputer, Mother Brain. Mother Brain summoned Ridley’s Space Pirates to Zebes, lowering the planet’s defenses in return for the Space Pirates’ allegiance.
Samus was only able to escape the Space Pirate siege because Gray Voice sacrificed himself to get her off Zebes.
Takeaway: Ridley killed Samus’ adopted parent, and destroyed her home AGAIN.
Years later, Samus returned to Zebes as a seasoned warrior. Ridley and Mother Brain were trying to harness the power of Metroids - strange creatures created by the Chozo to be an ultimate weapon against the deadliest creatures in the galaxy. Samus triumphed.
Takeaway: Samus blew up the Space Pirate base, blew up the Ridley’s flagship, blew up Mother Brain, blew up Ridley, and blew up a robot copy Ridley had made of himself.
What was left of Ridley was recovered by surviving space pirates, who turned him into a cybernetic monstrosity. Although Ridley never speaks in games, logs written by Space Pirates indicated that he was brilliant, cunning, and cruel, with a sadistic sense of humor. He fought Samus several times while trying to obtain a powerful substance called Phazon, and eventually fought her with a Phazon-enhanced body. Samus triumphed.
Takeaway: Samus blew up Ridley again and again, regardless of what he did to enhance his body.
When trying to eliminate the threat of Metroids once and for all by wiping out a planet infested with them, Samus came across a newly-hatched “baby” Metroid that imprinted upon her as if she was its mother. Feeling compassion, she spared it… and then Ridley tried to kidnap it, but was stopped by Samus.
And then, as soon as she let down her guard, Ridley returned and kidnapped the baby Metroid. He took it back to Zebes, where Mother Brain had been repaired. Samus was able to defeat them again, but the baby Metroid was killed in the battle, sacrificing itself to save Samus. Samus destroyed Zebes.
Takeaway: Ridley kidnapped a baby Metroid that saw Samus as its mother, leading to its death. Samus blew up Ridley again, and then blew up the entire planet he was on.
(Summary: Ridley killed Samus family, then destroyed her adopted family, laid waste to every home she’s ever known, and kidnapped an alien child that viewed Samus as it’s mother, causing it’s death. Samus has blown him up countless times, even blowing up an entire planet with him on it.)
There is a design parallel between the Mario Bros. and the princesses traditionally paired up with them. The number of eyelashes on Princess Peach’s eyes - six - matches the number of curved segments in Mario’s mustache. Likewise, Princess Daisy has two eyelashes on each eye, which matches Luigi’s two-segment mustache. Whether this is a coincidence or a deliberate design choice is unknown.
i hate this blog for bringing this to my attention. i’m not going to be able to think about literally anything else ever again. i’m going to tell all of my friends about this every time mario is brought up at all. fuck you
As Trump stokes tensions around the world, he’s adding fuel to the fire by demanding even more Pentagon spending. It’s a dangerous military buildup intended to underwrite endless wars and enrich defense contractors, while draining money from investment in the American people.
President Dwight D. Eisenhower once noted, “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.“
Eisenhower was a Republican and a former general who helped win World War II for the allies, yet he understood America’s true priorities. But Washington–and especially Trump–have lost sight of these basic tradeoffs.
Since 2001, the Pentagon budget has soared from $456 billion–in today’s dollars–to $700 billion, including the costs of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and other national security expenses. All told, when you include spending on the military and war, veterans’ benefits, and homeland security, military-related spending now eats up 67 percent of all federal discretionary spending.
According to the 2018 Military Balance report by the International Institute of Strategic Studies, the United States already spends more on the military than the next 10 nations combined. Even if the Pentagon budget were cut in half, the United States would still outspend China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea combined.
The military budget has become bloated with waste and abuse. According to the Pentagon’s own internal figures, the department could save at least $125 billion by reducing operational overhead.
Out-of-control defense contractors also drive up spending. In the coming years, cost overruns alone are projected to reach an estimated $484 billion. Meanwhile, the CEOs of the top 5 defense firms took home $97.4 million in compensation last year.
Despite all this, some still argue that military spending is necessary to support good-paying jobs and economic growth. Baloney. America would be much better served by a jobs program that invested in things we really need – like modern roads and highways, better school facilities, public parks, water and sewer systems, and clean energy – not weapons systems.
The biggest reason for increases in Pentagon spending is the incredible clout of the military-industrial complex – Eisenhower’s term. Every year, defense contractors spend millions of dollars on lobbying and campaign contributions to keep federal dollars flowing their way. More than 80 percent of top Pentagon officials have worked for the defense industry at some point in their careers, and many will go back to work in the defense industry.
Since taking office, Trump has increased military spending by more than $200 billion. Let’s take a second to look at how else that $200 billion could be spent. We could, for example:
Offer free public colleges and universities, as proposed by Bernie Sanders.
And fund the Children’s Health Insurance Program.
And expand broadband Internet access to rural America.
And meet the growing needs for low-income housing, providing safe living conditions for families and the elderly.
And help repair the physical devastation in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria.
Spending more on bombs and military machinery funnels money away from the American people and into wars. It’s time to rein in Pentagon spending and this endless war machine, and demand investment in America.
All told, when you include spending on the military and war, veterans’ benefits, and homeland security, military-related spending now eats up 67 percent of all federal discretionary spending.
And Flint, Michigan, still does not have clean, safe, drinking water.
Matt - 21 - He/His - Hufflepuff - Still trying to figure lots of stuff out.
Stuff I Like
The West Wing - Magic: The Gathering - Harry Potter - Star Wars - Mass Effect - RWBY - Life is Strange - The Elder Scolls - The Legend of Zelda - and a thousand other things
Blog image Credits
Avatar is "Gaea's Blessing" by Rebecca Guay.
Background is "When we in Brill" by Guafeng.
